Turning Forty

Woman who journals about her life and the miscellaneous life circumstances she encounters at age 40 and beyond.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

40

I can still see me sitting Indian style under that great big Oak in our back yard, gazing up at the sky and sun twinkling through the leaves. I was connected to my consciousness. I gazed up admiring how beautiful God made that scene and wondered how I got be there to see it and why. I still remember that day. I still don't know the answer to those questions. I only know that today I'm 40. I've done quite a bit and not enough. I'm frightened I won't matter, I'm frightened to face the day my parents will pass away, and I'm frightened my spouse will leave me. I'm thankful I've had so much fun and so many great experiences, I love my kids, and I'm excited about a tiny spark to a writing career. I don't know what the future will bring, but I'm sure I'll be here for it. I'll gaze up at the sky this evening and still be in awe of the scene God has made and be thankful for it.
me on 40

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